Welcome back, dear readers. As is self evident, your scribe is back at the keyboard, but with limited verve and a total lack of his usual 'joie de vivre'. Without seeking one ounce of unsolicited sympathy, I must report that the swarm of bugs in my system has declared total war and obviously has a 'no prisoners' policy. To date the wretched microbes have been on a winning streak.....but not for much longer. The forces of well being have girded their loins and are fighting back with the undoubted assistance of their large artillery, bi-daily doses of anti-biotics.
It is now six days since the initial onslaught. I rather suspect that had I been able to spend all of that time tucked up under the covers, the recovery process may have been boosted somewhat, but needs must as they say. Two days after our arrival the van had to be moved from our temporary drive-thu' site onto that which we shall occupy for the next two months, and given that Liz was hard at it from day one (and at the risk of sounding pompously gallant) I was particularly keen to erect the annex and provide really comfortable living space as soon as possible. Ah, I hear you sighing....what a man!
But here we now are, all settled in at the Big 4 Plantation Caravan Park, Robinson Road, Carnarvon.
But here we now are, all settled in at the Big 4 Plantation Caravan Park, Robinson Road, Carnarvon.
Our new site can be difficult to access if those opposite are occupied. No problems...on the day of our impending move I arose to find to my delight that they were vacant. Thank God...the last thing I needed was a tricky move whilst only half the brain cells were functioning, and even those few on muster were assembling under severe protest. And, of course, given that she was at work, I knew that Liz would not place any newcomers on those spots until I had made the move.
But, true to form, Murphy visited on the day of our site transfer. We hadn't counted on the interference of Matt, the park owner (who is perfectly entitled to do whatever he likes), who had come up from Perth to check things out for a couple of days. Whilst Liz was off doing something else, he booked two large lumps of vans onto the two critical sites. Poor old Liz's face said it all as she took a break and came down to help with the move. "It wasn't me", she protested, before I could say a word. Some things are just sent to try us.
Now I don't give in to a challenge too often, but this was now a 'bridge too far'. With a brain function which was about as sharp as a sloppy blancmange and a body wracked by massive and publicly embarrassing regular coughing fits, I happily admitted defeat and sought the previously offered help of Andrew, the park manager, to get us on.
There is something delightful about working with a bloke who can see beyond the obvious. After a close examination of our situation, Andrew agreed with me that backing on was going to present a real problem...do-able but difficult. There had to be a better way, and indeed there was. With the initiative of the good country lad that he is, and an impunity spawned by his position in the park system, in no time flat the site boundary post at the rear of our patch was lying flat on the ground and bingo, we had a 'drive-thru'. I could have kissed him!
Here you can see the replaced post at the rear of the van. With its removal, I was just able to sneak us through the gap between the gums and onto our site.
Mind you, our final positioning took some juggling. Given the length of our stay, I had chosen a site with a cement slab as opposed to one which was all grass. There are advantages in this. A completely level floor on which to place all the impedimenta (who can remember their school Latin?) of a long stay (freezer, tables, toaster, gas cook tops, fishing buckets etc etc) and a barrier to the rising damp when it rains, are but two. And please note the potted parsley....the ultimate badge of real grey nomads.
And herein lies another challenge for us 'knights of the road'...there is no such thing as a standard size slab. So what, I hear you mutter. Well, the problem is that the van annex is not adjustable. The main wall is the length of the awning and the ends conform to its width. These are non-adjustable. Another 'So what?' This means that, whilst it is usually possible to park the van so the awning reaches over the edge of the slab, it is often necessary to have to tie one end wall down with rope rather than be able to peg it into the ground because no adjustment can be made for length.
Again the 'so what' question. I have mastered the art of an end wall rope down, but it is never entirely satisfactory in terms of stability....and that becomes a problem when it's windy. And what do we have here in Carnarvon at this time of the year...lots of bloody wind, some of which can be quite nasty, up in the order of 25 knots and more for most of the day. The other snag with a roped down end is that this wall does not form a water tight seal against the slab with the result that when it rains the water falling on that end is highly likely to flow further onto the annex floor with obvious results. Experience has taught us that this is not conducive to comfortable long term residency, believe me.
For these two reasons I was very keen to be able to peg all the annex walls firmly into the ground and that meant, obviously, that the site slab had to be just the right size. Oh, and I forgot to mention, at this time of the year in Carnarvon it is good to be facing east where the front shoulder of the van can take the brunt of the prevailing south-easterly hooters rather than the annex. After much wandering about I came up with site 84 as the only one which fitted all our desired criteria (and our length).
So, here we were alongside, but now the next challenge was to manoeuvre the van with absolute precision along the length of the slab to ensure that both end walls could be pegged directly into the ground. My previous sorties with the tape measure told me that we had a mere five centimetres to play with.
Get on with it I hear you cry...it just can't be this hard! Sorry, dear readers, we still have one more problem to sort....floor levels, both side to side and fore and aft (or roll and pitch axes for the more technically minded). Apart from comfort (no swinging doors etc) this is critical to the effective operation of the van fridge, particularly if on gas.
The pitch axis presents no challenge....this can be easily adjusted by raising or lowering the jack on which the A frame rests. The lateral level is another matter altogether. For those of us without the luxury of inbuilt side jacks, this can only be achieved by running the wheels on the low side up a set of levelling ramps placed under them. And this in itself is usually no problem when the length of the van does not have to match anything else. But here it did...the slab....and centimetre perfectly.
I'll not bore you any longer other than to say that we spent quite some time manoeuvring all of our total of 8.8 metres backwards and forwards over distances measured in centimetres whilst adjusting the position of the two levelling ramps so that we could achieve the necessary height up the ramps on the one hand and still be precisely positioned on the slab on the other. And I haven't even thrown in the added problem of maintaining a parallel position on the slab when there is so little room to move that the cruiser and the van cannot be aligned perfectly straight. It's like trying to solve a Rubic's cube or whatever those infernal toys of the 80's emerging nerds were called.
But I can assure you that the effort is worth it. As it is the slope of the ground has meant that the annex is not exactly square on all sides, but it does completely envelope the slab and is more than firmly pegged down all around. That will do me.
I do crave you forgiveness if all the foregoing has sounded somewhat tedious and self indulgent, but it seemed like a good opportunity to present another aspect of the nomadic life which rarely draws comment but which can place serious demands on forethought and skill and which can be quite central to comfort and safety. So with all this finally achieved, I withdrew from the field of conflict and retired to bed. The annex would just have to wait until tomorrow.
But now to the question you have all been waiting to have answered. How has Liz settled in? In short, she's like a kid a in a lolly shop. She loves the job....and I can report with total objectivity, as the recipient of feedback from the park manager, that she is damn good at it.
Her recent experience as a medical receptionist has meant that she mastered the park booking and payment computer systems with ease and her long years of managing staff and patients alike has stood her in fine stead to deal with the few 'nasty pasties' who have already made their unpleasant presence felt in the office and over the phone.
As I have long thought, it takes an experience like this to fully demonstrate just how many pedantically demanding, self indulgent, incompetent or just plain dopey people there are in the caravanning world...and in some cases they are all wrapped into one!
You want what??????
One aspect of our current situation which really has taken me by surprise is the degree of status within the park community which comes with this job.....I am having a wonderful time basking in all the reflected glory! Mind you, this is only achieved by the provision of competent and thoughtful service....Liz is providing that in spades and has already been the subject of some wonderfully positive customer feedback. She should leave here with a glowing reference.
So having brought you up to date with our current situation, let me take my leave of you for the moment as I retire again to my cot, snuggle up to all my pills and potions and continue my mental struggle with the impotence of invalidity for the next few days. I have a jobs list which includes fifteen tasks which await attention, but they'll still be there next week and I have plenty of time.
Next, it will be back to Kalbarri for a few episodes and then on to our adventures in Exmouth. Cough, hack, splutter....bugger!
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